SOLUTION: Disabling Tap-to-Click on Alienware 13 Gaming Laptop Touchpad

UPDATE (October 1, 2017): This post is about the "R1" release of the Alienware 13 on Windows 8.1. Things have changed with the "R2" models and Windows 10. Please see my newer post about how to disable tapping with that configuration.

It's March of 2015 and I just received my brand new Alienware 13 laptop yesterday. Overall I've been pleased with this little machine, however I became quite concerned when I realized I couldn't locate a feature I had apparently taken for granted on all other laptops I had owned before: The ability to disable Tap-to-Click.

THE PROBLEM

On most Windows laptops, you can get to your touchpad settings by clicking a special icon on the system tray or by opening a special tab inside the operating system's Mouse control panel. But I came up dry trying to locate any touch pad configuration options in any of the usual places:

No special icon in my system tray:

No extra tabs in the Mouse control panel:

Only generic Microsoft device entries under Mice and other pointing devices in the Windows Device Manager:

No AlienTouch app in the AlienWare Control Center (I don't know if this is supposed to be available on the Alienware 13, but it's not there anyway):

Perhaps Dell simply hadn't included the right driver in my OS build? I took a look at the Alienware 13 downloads page and became hopeful when I discovered a relatively recent "Synaptics Touchpad Driver" installer. The driver installed (as in, it successfully copied driver files to my hard drive), but even after a system restart there was no trace of any way to change my touchpad settings.

After some internet searches I discovered that some other Alienware 13 owners have had the same problem, although many other people with Alienware 13s apparently do have working Synaptic drivers installed that have touchpad configuration options.

So what's going on? My current theory is that not all Alienware 13s out there have the same touchpad microcontroller. Most of them seem to have Synaptics touchpads (in which case, the drivers from Dell's site should work), but some of them (like mine) almost certainly do not. I don't know who made the touchpad circuitry in my laptop, but luckily I don't have to.

THE SOLUTION

If you have a touchpad that fully conforms to Windows 8.1's specifications, you should be able to change important settings inside the Windows 8 Modern (formerly called "Metro") user interface. Here's how:

First bring up the Windows 8 Start screen, and type the word mouse. When the "Mouse and touchpad settings" entry appears, click it to open the PC and Devices screen to the appropriate page.

The PC and Devices screen opens to the Mouse and touchpad page. Scroll down to the bottom and select Turn off taps in the list control under where it says "To help prevent the cursor from accidentally moving while you type, turn off taps or change the delay before taps work:"

Mission accomplished, bro.

While I was doing my internet searches, I saw a number of Alienware owners complaining that they weren't able to find a way to make it so that they could continue to use their touchpads while they had an external mouse plugged in. There is an option on this same screen called "Leave touchpad on when a mouse is connected," and I figure that should help those folks.

Now that I've figured out the touchpad situation, I'm really pleased with this little computer. It is by no means a desktop replacement, but it's quite good for playing World of Warcraft and Minecraft at 1920x1080 full-screen, doesn't get too hot, and is the quietest laptop I've ever owned.

The Worst Quest In World of Warcraft

Are you the kind of person who looks up quests on Wowhead or Thottbot before attempting to complete them? I am not. If I had been, however, I might have saved myself ten dollars worth of quarters in the swear jar attempting to complete the Shadowmoon Valley quest called I Was A Lot Of Things... Seriously, you should really reconsider pursuing a quest if you see comments like this at the fansites:

• Here's how to complete this quest: 1) Press L to open your quest log. 2) Select the quest named "I Was A Lot Of Things..." 3) Click Abandon Quest. You are welcome.
• I am about to commit crimes against Man and Nature because I'd rather spend a lifetime in prison than spend another hour working on this quest.
• I was given a choice between rubbing poison ivy on my genitals and completing this quest. My testicles now itch so much I have to sit on a belt sander for any semblance of comfort. I made the right decision.

The premise of the quest is simple enough: A yam-farming orc named Oronok is afraid to leave his farm because of the roving flayers that are decimating his felboar herd. He wants you to harvest some Shadowmoon tubers for him with the aid of his surviving felboars, who dig the tubers out of the ground when summoned. He hands you a whistle that the boars are trained to acknowledge and sends you off into the wild. Sounds fun, right? This is what I thought too, at first.

"No amount of gold or XP could compensate you for the suffering you're about to endure."

For one thing, the quest giver, Oronok, is damn difficult to locate; it is very likely that most players would never even find him if they weren't sent looking for him as part of a quest chain. Even with QuestHelper installed it is easy to waste 10-15 minutes trying to find a rideable path up to Oronok's farm. He's on top of a mountain in the top-middle area of Shadowmoon Valley. Your only hint that you're getting close will be a trail of half-eaten felboar carcases along the mountain side. (Seriously, Blizzard, breadcrumbs would have sufficed.)

Be prepared to get very familiar with this sight.

The problems with this quest become apparent pretty quickly. For one thing, the tubers are scattered across very hilly, uneven terrain. You will rarely see more than one on-screen at a time, and they do not sparkle like most quest nodes do. This wouldn't be so much of an issue of the quest were to gather a single tuber, but you need to collect 10 to satisfy Oronok, which means that you will be traversing the same bumpy, steep terrain over and over for quite some time. Oh and if you happen to be an herbalist, the tubers do NOT show up as nodes on your minimap.

I swear, Oronok has got to be the worst goddamned farmer in all of Outland.

Another issue is that flayers appear to get it on like rabbits, because the area is just lousy with them. It is not uncommon to see three or four flayers tearing the guts out of a felboar at a time (and then to have them chase after you once they're finished with the boar).

This is just so not fucking worth it.

Not only are they plentiful, but they respawn like crazy which is a significant issue for the following reason: Unlike most summoning quests in World of Warcraft, when you blow Oronok's whistle, the game does not create a new felboar especially to respond to your call. Instead, an existing felboar has to be within the (very-short) listening range of the whistle, and cannot be in combat at the time the whistle blows. Another little bit of awesomeness Blizzard threw in is that if you blow the whistle when no available felboars are within listening distance, THE TUBER FUCKING DISAPPEARS. That's right, you get one chance to summon boars to your tuber, and if the boar is out of listening range (and there are no visual indicators to help you judge this), or is in combat, you forever lose your chance to harvest that node.

Also, dead boars don't count.

So why even bother? Well, unfortunately, this quest is part six of the single-largest quest chain in Shadowmoon Valley. The end-of-chain quest rewards are rather good, and you'll be missing out if you skip this quest. On second thought, I have a better idea:

Seriously, it's not like anyone will ever find the body.